In addition, in October I was back in Kansas for a trial. A year ago, a young woman disclosed to me a sexual "relationship" with the youth director of the church I volunteered with in Kansas - the physical relationship began when she was 14 and he, 26. She disclosed to me, because he was soon to be ordained and she knew that I was required to report the offense. She also reported it to the police and the process culminated in his criminal trial in October. I flew back to be with the victim and support her, but ended up being subpoenaed to testify for the prosecution. As the perpetrator was a friend at one point in my life, it was a difficult thing to do. It was also incredibly hard to be there and to hear the other testimony. He was found guilty of a felony offense, and we wait for the sentencing, which is next week. My heart aches for the victim and her family as they continue to deal with this - but also for the perpetrator and his family. He is facing the possibility of prison time which must be devastating on him and his wife. I pray for them frequently, but I also am relatively certain that they wouldn't welcome my prayers and see me as part of their "downfall." The church is a small world, and many people know part of the story, and in several versions I don't come out looking so well. I know that it isn't about me and how I look to others, but it bothers me to know that some people think that I did the wrong thing...and that some of those people are pastors and leaders in the church.
Also, my brother is deploying to Iraq. As I write this, he is in the airport in Shannon, Ireland waiting to go to Kuwait for 10 days before reaching the final destination of Tallil in Iraq. He is part of a supply unit, and will not even be in convoys, but he'll be there nearly a year, and I will worry about him every day. I'm not sure how military families do this repeatedly and over years!
So, I'm back to the blog. I'm not sure if anyone is still checking in, but if you are let me know.
6 comments:
Katy- I love you and I think you are a wonderful person who wants the best for everyone. People are so strange and even worse, they are stupid at times. You did what you had to do and no one can blame you for where your life places you at any given moment.
I have no idea how families let their loved ones go to war over the years either! My grandpa went away right after he and grandma got married with a kid on the way! Life is so nuts.
Missed you and your blog:) Glad to see you back!
Love,
Katie
Welcome back! I would have had no idea how to post on most of what's been going on in your life over the past year, either, but you've handled it with a lot of grace and compassion, and I'm proud of you. I'll be praying for the brother and for you and your dad!
FWIW I think you did the right thing. All too often in church circles we talk about accountability but you've modelled it here - and while it's hard for a young man facing ordination to be accused (and found guilty) of sexually inappropriate behaviour - better than allowing him to go forward in this calling without having 'come clean'
I don't know if the church will now exclude him forever ... that would be a bit stupid IMHO - but it should at least make sure that once he's done his time, had therapy etc - all kinds of safe guards are put in place ... because there will always be young girls /and boys)coming to a priest in distress and therefore safeguards need to be put in place (such as open offices - meeting only in public places never alone or uncertained windows onto corridors where other staff members are etc)
but I feel for you too. This can't have been easy. So you are in my prayers today
sounds like you've had a rough time, I pray that you will find peace through the trials.
kt,
My name is YukonJazz and I consider your brother one of my closest and dearest friends. He speaks of you often, all of the time ending his comments with "she is the smartest person I know." I feel like I know you also. I hesitate to speak of the things you have encountered recently as I am not a great "religion mind" but i feel as I read your comments you did what you thought was best and I respect that. I pray for your brother, and your family, and we cannot wait to have him back in the 188th.
Welcome back! I admire your integrity and I certainly think you did the right thing. Also your brother will be in my prayers for a safe return and a not-too-harrowing experience.
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