bittersweet day

it's my birthday today...number 42. Happy Birthday to me...and I miss my Dad. He rarely contacted me on my birthday, forgot a couple of times, and once sent me a card in April with no acknowledgment that it was two months late. It used to drive me crazy, now I just miss knowing that he's somewhere in the world, maybe remembering what day it is, or maybe not.

he died less than a month ago, and I know eventually I'll get more "used" to his absence, I've been here before after all, but I hate this year of firsts. Every significant day will be bittersweet from here on out, but especially this year.

so, I'm making apple crisp, my favorite dessert, to make the house smell yummy and to have something tasty to eat. I'll cry a little, smile a lot over all the facebook birthday greetings and keep on moving.